Social Distractions

I just returned home from my first orchestra rehersal in about 3 years. It was awesome. But I am a little let down. Firstly, I am a flautist (pianist first but I don't do concertos) and the orchestra that I played for has an abundance of flutes. Therefore I was on percussion. I am the single most un-coordinated individual I know. So when I saw the part to {insert generic Aaron Copland piece here} I freaked out - cymbol hard sticks/cymbol soft sticks/cymbol brushes; snare drum/snare drum brushes; Bass drum; triangle. The amount of sticks that I had to juggle all up was 9. Safe to say they went all over the floor and down the backs of trumpeters. So it was an interesting evening. Fun, but I'm not sure how I feel about the new conductor. I felt really intimidated, I mean who doesn't bash the shit out of a big bass drum, brand new might I add.

Second, I don't like percussion. It is so far out of my comfort zone it is not funny. I will be starting rehersals for The Sound of Music, which I am playing with a friend, on flute. I am really really looking forward to it. My dilemna is this - Can I juggle the two orchestras and my uni work and work work?

I don't want to let the people from the first orchestra down, cause I know them all from years back and its a fun atmosphere, but still, can I handle it all? I haven't taken this much on in a very long time. Can I do it? Who thinks I can? Suggestions please?

Also I got a lovely phonecall from Myles before his phone was confiscated yesterday. It made my day. I love him so.

Wishing you all finely tuned piccolos and oboes :D

xx

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Distractions

I know this is going to sound crazy but I love having distractions when I am studying. They keep me focused somehow. I have spent a little time looking online a forums which I could distract myself with whilst I do some 学习汉语. I don't have messages from Myles anymore, he arrived in Wagga tonight.

I re-connected with old comfort zones since he's gone. I went on the tatyforum site again. Its not as active as what I was when I last went on there in 2006. I need someone to replace the void which is in my life now. I need a little distraction from all the study. I want a nice, friendly forum with nice people who I can relate to. I shall do a little hunting, wish me luck. Please, if anyone out there has any ideas let me know...

Wishing you all pleasant little distractions,

Natasha xx

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The Waiting Game

Semester 2 starts today. I am roaring to go. I want to commense my studies and become organised. I also want to beat my French friend in Chinese. However I cannot plan ahead and do some good ol' time management without the unit notes for my units. My International Human Rights unit is all good, put online and I emailed it to my dad to print off. I'll have that at about 6pm. Chinese on the otherhand...

This department makes you record dialogue onto a cassette tape and post it to the faculty to be marked. I thought we lived in the 21st century. Se they send out the unit handbook in the mail. It gets to first day of Term and the staff have posted on the unit forum that everyone has recieved their unit handbook so get busy and study! Everyone has posted onto the site that they have not recieved the unit handbook. Not happy. Especially I who is already 12 months behind everyone else, not having studied for that little bit of time. At least maybe I can study the stuff I'm behind in without feeling guilty.

Speaking of waiting, Myles is in Brisbane. He leaves tomorrow. Last night I watched the two episodes of Doctor Who that make me cry every time. Without fail - Doomsday and The Journey's End.

Wishing you all speedy documentation! Natasha xx

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Beginning or End?

I'm back from my trip away. It was a very teary farewell. It was the second time I have seen him cry. I never want to see him cry again. It is nice to know that he loves me that much and he'll miss me as well as I'll miss him.

We're on a break. He doesn't become incomunicado until Tuesday, so we are still messaging backwards and forth. We love each other. I think that is why it is so difficult. He told me that friends of his met when they were at a music camp, star crossed lovers it seems. They parted ways, yet met ten years later and put a deposit on a house four weeks after being re-united.

Myles and I are best friends. We always knew that if we broken up we would still remain close friends. To do the things for our careers we need to do the seperate thing for a while. This is really good for him, and I guess for me too.

But I am really going to miss him. I love him so much it hurts. I think I'm scared that he won't want me back. But all I have to have is faith, faith in him. I have the next ten weeks, and then 32 weeks to learn about myself and make improvements. I need to learn to love myself and stand alone. Then I can have him back.

I love you Myles.

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Trips

I will be away for the next week or so visiting the boyfriend I have not seen since May, he is joining the airforce. Needless to say I will not be spending much time on the internet, but I will write and update when I get home.

Diamants, Natasha

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Moleskine

I now own a Moleskine. I can really start writing now. I am off to dream up beautiful and impossible worlds...

Diamants, Natasha.

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Templates

I just spent the last few hours looking up templates for the blog. bleh. It was exhausting. I am quite dissapointed by what is out there. anyway I like this one, and thats all that matters.

Natasha

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Ponderings in the bath

Got home from work. It was a long day. Boss is an imbecile. Going to forget about her for the next two weeks :D

Had a bath whilst watching the first 20 mins of Disney's Beauty and the Beast. I love Disney so much, The little mermaid is my favourite. I want to write, which is the purpose of this blog. The paradox is I hate reading. I don't know if I still feel really burnt out from the HSC but I cannot make myself sit down and read a novel. I have no problem with my International Relations texts for my university, but I tried to read Madame Bovary the other day and it was just so hard, I found myself wandering off in my head, daydreaming.

Maybe I'm not meant to read, maybe I have so many ideas that I am meant to share them with the world. I would love if someone wrote an updated version of the Disney stories, without the strong fantasy aspect. Although I do like that. Can you imagine a mermaid trying to fit into Sydney CBD? Anyway just some thoughts. Maybe I will write a little on the train on Friday, after I've had my bottle of mini wine. I'm thinking a white with some OJ, cheap wine is never very good.

<3 Natasha

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The day

Pissed off. Not going to write another entry. Epic fail Blogger. off to have a bath and eat sweet things...

<3>

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The day

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Friends

Its been something that has been bothering me for a while now. Since I left to go away to university I have felt so excluded by my friends from high school. I was away for 18 months and I have returned home to live. I have let it slide, the parties that have been going on without me being invited. But I have had enough.

I don't think I shall bother with this group of people anymore. I don't feel like I can open up to them. I can't spend time with them or relax cause they are constantly judging me. When someone you think likes you has a massive party and you aren't invited, I think its clear where I stand.

But thats ok. They never got the whole creative thing. They never got the music thing. I have recently gotten back in touch with a group of people which I have not seen in a very very long time. They are all creative. They are all magical. They make me want to put fairy lights up all around my house :) These ladies are my real friends.

This is a special moment. From now on I am only going to exhert my energy on people who want to spend time with me. 

Must dash. Father is in another shitty mood cause he had to make an effort tonight. Home can truly be a negative place. This makes the City glow more and more for me :)

<3>

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Writing

I want to live in the city. I want to be part of that massive conglomeration of steel, stress, twenty-four hour supermarkets and excentricity that makes up the city. There is something that is so alive and free about it. I've been looking at pictures and reading stories from a blogger who I greatly aspire to be like. I want to live a life just like hers. 

From now I am going to aspire to write when I can, have a more magical existence. Make more of an effort - instead of just skimming through links and articles I am going to read the whole piece. I want to be a writer. But I don't know where to begin. One of the first books I read was Little Women. I remember the sisters asking Jo for her advice on writing. She said 'never write what you know'. Well I suppose this can work for some fiction writers with a strong sense of imagination, and that suits me to a tee, but I think if I was to write about everyday life, my life, things might play out easier.

When I write something down, for me it seems to cement it in concrete. I want this to be a scrap book of my ideas, thoughts, dreams, queries, events and meetings. Here's hoping I can keep it up :)

<3 Natasha

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